First month funks
January hasn't been all sunshine and roses for me. Which is sad. I feel grossly.. under-respected these days; if that's even a word. I feel like people around me don't care how I'm treated anymore. Just because I don't blow up at the slightest sign of rudeness doesn't mean you can go on disrespecting me.
I know I've earned the respect of these people so the fact that they can so easily disregard my feelings is a little confusing. I don't care how long you've known me, it hurts to know that you think so little of me. Having a long history doesn't mean you can start neglecting basic fucking courtesy.
I've been letting the small stuff slide but don't the small stuff make up the big picture, too? I don't even really have anyone to turn to, to talk about this shit but that's besides the point.
***
January has also been a great month for disappointments. I'm not even gonna go into details about this. Suffice to say I've given up on some people and while it's kinda liberating, the disappointment lingers.
I know it's all due to (my) expectations but of course I'll have those. It's stupid to tell someone not to have expectations of the people around them. Society in general has standards. If I didn't then what the hell is the whole point of our human relationship? I really don't know why I bothered with these uncivilized brutes in the first place.
***
Anyhoodles. Besides being in a crappy mood plateau, I've also been watching my diet and working out a lot. (That doesn't mean I'm on a diet but I make sure I get some cardio in after I've indulged. I saw some photos of myself 4-5 years ago and I'm still wondering how I allowed myself to get that heavy. It was pretty horrible.) Sweating it out takes my mind off most things, fortunately, and the endorphin rush really helps me get my mood up.
I'm not one of those workout nuts who obsess over their physique but I do think it's best to be someone I'd like to meet; and I'd choose to meet someone who takes good care of themselves over a flabby slob who relies on natural metabolism.
I dunno... This post is just a smattering of some of the things that have been on my mind a lot this month. Hope January has treated you better.
Also, happy birthday, Mikhail ! Оставайтесь повезло, Гормегей.
The Nashty
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8 comments:
me likey cardio nash. oh you knew that already. few more days to fevrier, there should be more sunshine then. fistpump?
FISTPUMP
First 2012 post only 23 days in? Must be something!
Expectations can be a damned thing, but you're right, everyone needs those. As u would say---uncivilised brutes to the left! I hope you started feeling better by the time you finished writing this post. :)
Sorry to hear about your sucky start to the year Nashybear :( Things can only get better from here though right? I can somewhat compare marriage to your first paragraph... i guess when you get too comfortable with someone, you don't have a filter anymore! haha! but that's not an excuse. :) Good to hear about your working out - it does help relieve negative feelings... and get rid of flab which is always good. :P
Well, you can talk to us--but I know that's not the same as a face-to-face talk. I hope the rudeness is a passing phase. I've lost a few friends to rudeness. Once I started treating the person the same way she was treating me. She got mad and wanted an apology. When I laughed and said I was just acting like her, she couldn't see it. She didn't want to be treated rudely, but felt what she did was okay.
A few weeks ago I was thinking about how January is almost never a good month. It's cold here, the daylight hours are short, the days are dreary, and there's none of the December festiveness to help compensate.
But soon it will be February and then time for Pisces to shine!!!
@Ric: Awwyeaaahh February + March! Hahahaa I like how you think (^^,)
In spite of your crappy mood, it's good that you are diverting yourself to something (the workout) instead of dwelling on the disappointments. Go girl!
Ah geez, I wish I could have a stern talking-to to the people who are treating you with disrespect. As comfortable as you may be around someone you've known for a while, that's not an excuse to just be hostile and not treat someone properly; if anything, I'd want to be nicer because I care about that person. Hope people smarten up!
And I really hope February is a better month for you *HUGS*
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