"Sayang" is love in Malay. Not in an I-fell-in-love-with-a-hunk way, but more of an affectionate, Mama-loves-Baby kinda way.

I remember how my dad would punctuate all his lines with a "sayang" when he was calling me, or waking me up when I was a kid. Like, "Wake up, sayang. You got school." And when I refused to budge he'd still go "Sayang, wake up sayang...You'll be late, sayang." He just never seemed to tire of that word. I think I was ten or eleven, when he tried waking me up that same way. I was really sleepy, and I decided I was sick of that word, so after he walked out I yelled down the hallway-

"I'M NOT YOUR SAYANG!!!!!" (and went back to bed)


I forgot all about his sayangs until a decade later. Now. NOW when I have to wake up to a stupid alarm clock. NOW when all I get are nudges and "Hey hey wake up"s. I admit I got a little mad that he stopped his affectionate ways. He wasn't supposed to take me seriously, dammit... But I guess that's the little-girl side of me talking. The side that will always need her big protective daddy. Times like those are getting harder and harder to remember, so I'm putting it here before I forget he once ever did those things.





I mean, hearing the words "Who's your daddy" now just rings a different sort of bell, nam sayin'? I don't see why I have to wait for Father's Day for a post like this.





I miss being daddy's little girl.