A gameshow love connection you can't deny
So... Contrary to popular belief, I did not kill myself after Mr E left. We're oceans apart once again, but we'll survive, right? We always do.
It was a fun bunch of days. We made time for the beach, climbed a jungle gym, went swimming at the hotel and had copious amounts of milkshakes and long islands. My favourite part was illegally going up onto the plaza rooftop after midnight to dance and uh, play Monopoly, as Ric suggested. (It was pretty dark, though, Ric!)
The day before his departure, we turned the living room into a dancefloor and invited some buddies over to have a mini party (the suite had iPod connectivity).
Free finger food so yay for usMr E played Train's Hey Soul Sister for me on his guitar before I kicked everybody out. He didn't see much of anybody else, and I'm not sorry. Selfish? Yes. Did anybody care? No. We watched Step Up 2 that night, among other things.
Hours before his flight on Thursday, we actually got out of bed and went to a café at some boutique hotel for dessert. I guess the food was good. I honestly can't remember; lost my appetite a bit.
Those last couple of hours together at the airport were torture. We've done this routine twice before but this time it was just us two, no friends came.
I'll spare you the details of how I felt my heart bleeding when he had his passport stamped at the Departure check-in. He turned around, blew one last kiss then he left. That's about it. I have nothing fancy to report. I didn't wait for his plane to take off like I used to do. I walked out and had a long, long cab ride home.
* * * * *
Even if saying goodbye once again at the airport was hard, it was okay. It wasn't as bad as the last time he flew home in March '07, though it's not a feeling I can ever get used to.Like a reversible Club Monaco sweater, there are two sides to what I was feeling that night. Part of me was terrified of losing the most awesome guy I've ever known, and a part of me was pumped that I'm stronger than this whole thing.
Maybe I held on for as long as I did (3 years holy shiz) coz I was afraid nothing as great will ever happen to me again. But looking back, I think I was actually not allowing for other relationships to become great. I've run away from some seriously incredible people coz I didn't want them to be as special as Mr E. I was afraid of replacing him as the man in my life, and a part of me still is.
Maybe we met at the wrong time; or maybe we fell in love so fast and so hard because we are so alike. Quite plainly, Mr E's the male version of me. Anybody who knows us both could tell you that. I feel like I know him too well, and him me. He was my dance partner back in the day, too- maybe that has something to do with it. It's hard to resist the person who knows the way you move.
We talked about this and well, we both know that it'll drive us both insane if we stay together too long. We're the type of people who thrive on arguments and can't have others agreeing with us all the time, so being together when we practically share the same brainwaves.. it suppresses our individuality big time. And we can't have that. We'll go back to where we each came from and start from scratch. C'est tout.
So now I feel...free? Yes. I feel free to love again, and I hope he does, too.
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The Nashty
- Nashe^
- Twenty7 and not much hotter. Looking for my happily ever after.
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25 comments:
I remember this line I heard in some TV episode.
"It all comes down to mathematics. A beautiful love only happens once in a lifetime. And I have had mine."
Maybe you have had yours, but here's hoping you fall in love again.
Hey Soul Sister? That's quite awesome of him. Whatever, I wanna cry...!! This post is so sad. The STORY is so sad :((((
I hope you find real love again, miss. You deserve it.
BTW...If I recall correctly, Mr E is the spanish-speaking guy..amirite?
@ Demigoddess: Thanks, Angel. :]
@ J: Yea! OMG you remembered! haha. He studied Spanish for 9-10 years.
:'(
i'm sorry but i cried.
Thankfully greatness is not like lightning, striking a spot just once. Greatness changes you and stays with you and makes it a little easier to accomplish again when you're ready.
Think of all the fun you and the next guy will have learning each other's moves!!! =)
Monopoly moves. ;P
this is getting me all emo now coz i just found someone, and i think he might be THE ONE and he's got to fly away too real soon :(
Gee. I've always rooted for E. You guys looked so cute together, dancing or not.
ps; what's the story behind Step Up 2 again? I forgot, sorry. Tell me!
pps;
ON THE ROOFTOP??? DAMN!
@ Ejannz: Aww don't :(
@ Ric: Might be some time til I play Monopoly again!
@ Manju: I gotta hear about that, girl.
@ iZan: Step Up 2? LOL. It's just that we watched Step Up 1 together in 2006, and we promised to catch Step Up 2 together, too. That's all. :(
And yea, jiggy on the rooftop. Don't be hatin'! xP
This post made me teary.
And then I thought about how awesome it would be to play Monopoly on the roof of some building.
Monopoly is great, and playing it on the roof of a shopping centre would just be... I don't think there's a word to describe how great it would be.
It'll happen again, trust me. :)
I hope it works out for you! Sounds like you two had a blast ;)
I feel for you. Get a new love, and I hope u tell us all abt it.
“Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go.
Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life.”
— Mary Manin Morrissey
@ ScoMan: Rooftop Monopoly is AWESOME.
@ Candice & Jordan: Thanks, guys. :))
@ Anon: Thanks for the quote. And I don't really blog about my love life, to be honest. But we'll see how it goes.
This made me cry :(
I'm looking forward to your next love story, when the time and circumstances are right.
But seriously, Roof Monopoly? Oh man I'd love that, but I think I'd be too scared XD
i had to read back to find out what this Mr.E thing is all about. I find it so crazy and amazing that a few weeks ago you blogged about the long distance call and saying that you can "dream about him appearing at your doorstep" and you kindasorta DID!! ACKKK! Well.. whatever the ending may be to this love story, i know it'll be a happy one :)
Trust you to be strong for yourself. I'm glad you can see what's good for you and what you have to do. All the best.
I'm wishing for new posts. With pictures of a hot new boy. :))
Hey Soul Sister? Awesome. Must have been fun, right?
@ Krissy: These things happen anywhere ;P
@ Kym: Weird huh? We'll see what comes next...
@ Ortega: Don't spend months waiting, mi amigo! :P
@ MelRoxx: Totally fun!
How were your chores different???
If I'd known eric cartman back when I was working for my dad, I could have sang, "day's never finished, master's got me working". LOL
Holy MATURE, Batman.
You are one strong and self-aware lady, and I truly admire you for it.
Wow, this was truly interesting to read. I can't say much more than hats down, you know what you want and I know you'll get it.
:))
@ MKL: I hope so, too.
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