I caught up with an old (guy) friend over a pecan pie recently. When the conversation topic turned to his slightly dysfunctional love life, he said
"I think you're keeping me single."
It was a horrible thought, to be honest, and the worst part about it was that I knew it had a lot of truth to it.
Every time this guy breaks up with some girl, he'll say "..but it's not so bad, at least I still have you to hang out with."
I'm like his support cushion for when his love life
doesn't work out. And while that's nice, it makes him take
the situation for granted. He slacks off on his romantic relationships because he knows he won't be all alone at the end of the day.
And I'll never decline his invitation to chill out when he's a little down because hey, I'm lonely a lot, too (Not in a melancholic way, but still). We both know we're never gonna be romantically linked to each other (it's just obvious we aren't each other's romantic cup of tea) so it feels 'safe', but at the same time this part of our friendship doesn't do anything for either of us. (For the record, he doesn't call me up often when I'm attached, which, lets face it, isn't a common phenomenon.)
It sounds depressing but we're not gonna have each other forever. Someday we're gonna have to learn to stand on our own and face the real consequences of not working on whatever separate relationships we have.
I guess I'm just talking to myself here, but oh well.
7 comments:
I feel you, Nashe.
I have that kind of friend, the only difference is he's gay. He's only on a perennial search for 'The One' and I feel like he's the only one who can understand me.
Let's look forward into your future (the future of the smart, funny beauty holding that camera over there on the right). You're both married. Wouldn't it be nice to have a friend of the opposite sex to talk to? It has been helpful for me. You just have to be sure that you're not closer to a friend than you are to your spouse.
@Krissy: Lucky you, though! My closest (male) gay friend lives in the States :(
@Ric: I fully agree with you! But one thing I didn't mention was that this friend and I used to date. Does that make any difference?
Its weird to be as close to him as you are now, if you are married. But good to know he doesn't call u up so much if you're attached! But when you meet him BEFORE he breaks up, tell him to work on it?
Wowsa! Yep, that makes a difference. BUT if you're both into being real friends, you could make it work. Or one of you could end up like Julia Roberts in the movie that she tries to ruin her best "friend"'s wedding. :)
i seriously doubt you are the reason that guy is slacking off, that's just him, I mean if it wasn't you it would have been another you know so....dont put the blame on yourself mami
i seriously doubt you are the reason that guy is slacking off, that's just him, I mean if it wasn't you it would have been another you know so....dont put the blame on yourself mami
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