Way Too Much
Dear D,
How did we get here? How did we go from forced acquaintances to friends who talk endlessly over Facebook messages? Just.. how?
I gotta tell you, though, I don't know if I'm liking this yet.
When we first met n years ago, I had no idea how to deal with you. You were just some guy who was randomly there, disappearing for random periods of time. Your presence didn't bother me, and neither did your absence. We talked solely because I had questions only you could answer.
I'm not sure how it started but during one of our conversations the topic of my then-boyfriend came up. We talked about him. And from then on we shared more private stuff about our lives. We never met up to hang out but just continued talking whenever we caught each other online.
You told me a bunch of crazy personal stuff, and I told you things I've never mentioned to anyone. It felt good to get some things off my chest, even if it never solved anything. But if there's one thing you should know, D, is that I told you my darkest secrets simply because I thought we’d never be friends. Never.
Since you were going abroad, I thought you’d eventually go away, taking everything with you. I thought, what the heck, my secrets are safe with you because there's no one you could tell them to. That's probably what you thought of me, too.
But holy shit, now you’re actually staying, and by some weird twist of fate we’ve become friends. It just hit me how much of my private life you are actually aware of. Damn, I have to be nice to you now.
I won't say it makes me uncomfortable, but there are times when you'd casually make a reference to something (very) personal and I'd be there thinking OMG I forgot this dude knows about my xxx fetish.. while I, I am privy to his awkward special fantasies- From the dreamy picket-fence ones to the ones involving cold floors and hot sex.
Ugh.
I realize we wouldn't have this kooky friendship without our tingly secrets but I just might have to kill you because now you know too much.
No, seriously. Way too much.
~N
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The Nashty
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5 comments:
dang... good luck with that. it's like you hate him but then you don't..? why can't you just ignore him? you guys don't seem to have mutual friends anyway. or... you can hang out but you don't have to introduce him to your friends! :D
It sounds like mutual destruction is a possibility. That can keep both sides on th estraight and narrow. But you're right, it's too big a risk. He's got to go!!!
PS - A sister stoped talking to me after I helped her through a rough time with her husband..she was embarrassed I knew, so she pulled back. I may do a post about that...or the two ladies I accidentally broke in the same restaurant, a year apart. =)
HAHAHAHAH. I wish I was this D. I'd love to know these dark secrets LOL. don't ignore this, you need to eliminate him asap!
While it's great to be able to confide in someone, this sounds like it could be a little too risky or dangerous to have him in your life knowing all these things. Hopefully something happens that will make it so you don't have to be in contact all that much? Good luck!!
I actually FULLY understand the logic of divulging all secrets cos you are not friends. high 5.
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