I had the weirdest question posed to me today by the Tankisaurus:
"Can you make me some coffee?"
How bout I bake some blueberry muffins while I'm at it, too.
Like, huh? Coffee?? Are kidding me? Unless you're telling me to mix hot water with the 3-in-1 instant coffee mix, I have no idea how to go about making some coffee.
Starbucks baristas make coffee. Bored wives make coffee. Old wrinkly men at Kopitiam make coffee. I don't make coffee. I just stared at him blankly.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You gotta do it yourself. I don't know how to make coffee."
For some reason, he looked at me as if I just spoke pig Latin.
What? Am I supposed to know how to make coffee? How come everyone acts as if we're all born with the knowledge of making coffee? It's not like they teach us in school. From the hallway, I heard Bibik laughing at me.("Kok ga tau bikin kopi, jeng!")
"See? Even Bibik is laughing at you."
It doesn't make a difference to me, really. The maid laughs at me for every single thing- from the way I needed her help with the ironing, to the way I apply my emollient-enriched body lotion, to the way I cry watching P.S I Love You. She thinks I'm the most entertaining thing to hit the planet since Jean Paul Gaultier. It's not surprising that she laughs at me for not knowing how to make coffee.
The dinosaur said, "It's not that hard, I'm sure there are instructions on the side of the jar. Or you can get Bibik to teach you."
Bonjour? If your Bibik is such the pro at making coffee, then get her to make it, s'il vous plait! And I'm so not learning to make coffee just so I can make it for you. As Bibik put it, it's because of people like me that people like her have jobs.
Alors.
14 comments:
Why lady. You sound jealous of Bibik in the last part there.
I never thought about coffee before. I think I WAS born with the coffee-making gene that 1000000000 other people have.
The malay post was nice to read, btw.
i haven't heard the term 'pig latin' in possibly 5 years. haha. glad that you're not fretting over the lack of certain soft skills. learn them over the summer or something.
forget coffee. you make mean pasta dishes, and bibik can't do that. LOL.
oh yeah, and JPG is entertaining? for a minute i expected you to say you're as entertaining as "the scuttling gucci bag parade".
remember? RemeMbeR!?? oh heavens i'm laughing just thinking about it.
Bored housewife here. I make coffee or I don't get it. The nearest Starbucks is 5 miles away at the mall in another town and I don't go there as often as I get the urge for a cup of coffee. Which is multiple times an hour.
That's alright, honey. You don't worry yore purty lil head about it. You jus' sit there and look gorgeous and ever'thang is gonna be alright. ;o)
Love and hugs,
D.
@ Flash: It was? Haha. I was digging for vocabulary there :)
Btw I was/am so not jealous, please!
@ putra: Don't "soft skills" me, please. Just two years ago you had no idea how to make pancakes! Ok, I'll learn soon.
(How can I forget my scuttling bag parade?!)
@ Di: Best advice I've heard in months, that was! XD
My dear, Putra's got a point.. I'll never forget the day you told us about the scuttling Gucci bag parade. Supreme entertainment.
LOL x 1million
And as for coffee... no worries. It took me weeks before I could make the perfect espresso at Starbucks.
@ nazI: Haha! On hindsight, your barista days were cute. You and 5D.
WTH 5D. I don't even recall how he looks like. xD
OK, on a feminist level, I am TOTALLY with you.
As a guy who had to learn to repair his own car at 16 or walk ... LEARN TO MAKE A POT OF FUCKING COFFEE!!!!! JESUS FUCKING MUHAMMAD MOSES GAIA BUDDHA FUCKING CHRIST!!
*laughing*
*hard tushie swat*
@ NazI: Thin. Straggly. Considered cute to many pre-pubescent girls. :D
@ Gad-Blasphemous-Fly: WTF you dragged even GAIA into this?!?
I'm still looking for gloves, G! Coffee beans are like a grievous no-no to polished nails...
You are so firmly entrenched in the life of a bourgeois princess Anastasia Romanov would shit her silk panties if the bolsheviks didn't shoot her in a basement.
How about some tea then? Everyone knows how to make tea :P
@ Wooz: YES I DO KNOW how to make tea! But I like tea really sweet so nobody ever asks me to make them tea. LULZ.
And Anastasia was really pretty...
i dunno how to make coffe either. i really dont. even with the 3-in-1 nescafe sachets, it'll always end up tasting like the nujum pak belalang's "kopi blakang periuk". if im not careful i can poison someone with that shit.
and i like anastasia too.
@ Masth: HAH! JE SUIS one level higher than you!!! I know how to pakai les sachets...
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