After a number of uhh, concerned texts from like,a dozen of you, I guess I should probably explain why I'm staying at a friend's place for the moment. I'm totally fine, but things haven't been going so well at home lately. The family's doing OK (kinda). I'm going to skip the fact that there's no respect whatsoever for my personal items at home, but I just couldn't stand how I don't get to say anything in the house. I don't really get to say anything in my relatives' houses either. You know conversations like-

Aunt : Hey I heard you went to UK! How was it?

Me : It was good! I was really-

Aunt : You know when I went there last time? I brought a rice cooker along and....*blablablah*

You know, if you weren't really interested in my trip, don't fucking ask. I don't know why you're wasting both our time by asking. I hate these people. These people who ask me about me just to cut in and talk about themselves. I think you know the type. Like such-

Mother : What time did you get home last night? I fell asleep before you came in.

Me : Never mind. I can't remember....

Mother: Oh, how was the party?

Me : Cool, I met some old friends! We went crazy and-

Mother : Really? What happened? Oh you know what, I'm so angry at my stupid colleagues! *launches into the elaborate story of how fucked up they are*

Me : (wondering what happened to "How was the party?/What happened?")


When that kind of shit happens, don't bother with a "What were you saying again?" coz I won't fucking answer. And I never do.

Conversations like this one rile me up, too-

Mother : What did you go to the hospital for this afternoon?

Me : Some of my friends are hospitalized.

Mother : Huh? What happened?

Me : AA fractured his collarbone or something..and M was having her tonsils removed...etc etc.

Mother : Can you help your sister with her English homework? I'm too tired. *leaves the room*

Which, of course, left me wondering if she had even been listening at all. I could have probably told her my friends were brutally mutilated by a serial killer and had their organs fried and eaten, and my mother would have given me the same response. I've been having these one-sided conversations for months. You'd also think that, after 12 years, my own mother would have known better than to brush me off that way.

You know, I'm not that demanding; but if you had actually asked me about something, I would expect you to listen to what I've got to say and at least respond appropriately. I HATE having to talk when you're not really interested. Sometimes their actions are so blatant that I can feel like crying. I guess I'm sensitive that way.

But can I help feeling dissed when people don't even care? I'm expected to listen and sympathize/empathize with whatever crap they're telling me about but I never get the same treatment. I don't know what they take me for but I'm not their 24-hr punching bag, especially since none of them are my listening ear. So basically, I grew frickin tired of them all patronizing me, not just my mother. I wanted out and they couldn't have cared less...

So here I am two hours away from home (which hadn't seem like one when I left), with a friend from overseas. Someone who actually wants me over and doesn't think I'm a nuisance nor a punching bag. It's been about a week and a half now. Just curling up on the bed reading chick lit makes me so happy. =)) Not that we're staying home that much, hahaha. Sometimes a few others will sleep over, too. Kinda feels like a temporary sorority. LULZ. But I feel so at peace with myself and the world, I think I've been walking around with a big smile on my face.

My mom just told me there was a huge fight between my dad and elder brother. Things were being thrown and there was shouting and and a hell lot of noise. I'm like, and your point is...?? You want me to come running home or something so you can unload the whole sob story on me? I don't think so.

Don't get me wrong. Of course I miss my kid brother (no, I don't miss my sister) and all, but sometimes I guess we just have to get away. I'll come home, just not so soon.