If there’s only one thing that I’m allowed to choose from Singapore to remove from my life forever, that I wouldn’t miss at all for the rest of my life, it would be the local media.

I found 2 separate newspaper articles about crime and chocolates. And as usual, I swear I’ve read the exact same material like 2 years back. I don’t know who they think they’re bullshitting. Maybe they’re just giving interns a job, eyh?

And I was waiting for Nip/Tuck Monday night. It starts at 10:30. And since I was not particularly doing anything, I switched the tv on at around 10:15. The show which greeted me was Girls Out Loud. Some uber crappifying piece of shit, hosted by a female radio DJ and her good friend who magically happens to be an even bigger piece of shit one of the country’s most famous bloggers. She got famous for some controversial posts ...like how everyone should be allowed to use the handicap toilets if it’s really urgent… Gag me with a Mont Blanc! Looks like Singapore gets excited when it discovers a person who rambles away her mind. Poor baby. Quite obviously, they haven’t been searching well enough.

Haha. Some of you would know who the dang she is, I suppose. Hell, I ain’t putting her name down for nuts. Why would I increase her so-called popularity, right? Haha. And for the lucky ones who have no idea what G.O.L is all about, it’s like this ‘reality’ program where the two dingheads do everything that’s supposedly cool for girls. Like say, modelling? Or trying out singing, for instance. Again, 'Reality'.
And also, it’s probably unfair of me to say ‘two dingheads’, coz the DJ is A-OK. It’s the blogger I can’t stomach. I’m gonna refer to her as Dinghead from now on.

Anyhoo, Monday’s episode had the theme of err… Girlfight? Catfight? Or something along that line. And another blogger called Mia Yan Tan (who’s like, a model, has entered several beauty pageants and was Miss Singapore) was invited to have an (apparently) all-out verbal spar with Dinghead. Coz Dinghead doesn’t like to be rivalled in the whole famous-blogger business and thinks she’s prettier than Mia. GOD, IT WAS SO LAME.

I can’t bring myself to type out their so-called argument word for word. I get seizures thinking about it. Dinghead claimed that Mia enters the beauty pageants coz “you think you’re so pretty”. Man, that was certainly rich of her to say, seeing the fact that she’s a heavily facially photoshopped crapper who posts endless pictures of herseshit, I know, but at least she DID beat the other contestants. And honestly, I don’t see what the fucking big deal is. Mia thinks she’s pretty, Mia enters pageants, Mia wins a bunch of them, Mia gets support, Mia posts her pictures up, Mia continues the cycle, and Dinghead ain’t happy? Where’s the link? The ‘sparring’ shouldn’t even have existed in the first place.

Then anyway, Mia told Dinghead that Dinghead’s eyes were like, fugly. A statement to which I passionately agree. Her eyes become an abyss of black mascara + fake lashes the moment she smiles. Dinghead then retorted that the space between Mia’s eyes and eyebrows was enough for 3 more pairs of eyes. And to that, Mia said her makeup artists and photographers have in fact been admiring the uniqueness of her eyes, “coz they can put a whole sea of colours on my eyelids”. And blahlala the drudgery went on. Through it all, Mia kept a calm exterior and shot back to Dinghead spontaneously. While the Dinger had her arms folded and had a huge frown on her kablooey face, which I don’t think was supposed to show up. Anyhoo, after Mia’s last say, all Dinghead could do was choke out a “You'e nobody to preach me,... some people just don’t get it.” And walked away.

Helloo!! To a mass audience, that was so something you say/do when you know you’ve lost the battle. The poor host. But you’re forgetting that you’re in Singapore -where the media is all fucked up and you can’t turn twice without banging into stupidity.
Guess what the tv screen unfolded to mine eyes? (o0h Shakespeare) The image of Dinghead with the caption…. ‘Winner!’

Now hold up a sec!! Dinghead just cowardly walked out of a bitchfight in a huff with a tres pathetique “Whatever” and she’s the winner? SHE’s the winner?! I was about to jump out the window when I remembered that this was 50% HER show. She’s the host, god. You can’t bear being embarrassed on your own turf, can you? You just can’t live with the fact that you invited someone sharper than you for a kittyfight and you lost miserably. So you just put yourself as the winner, no matter what. Seriously, as what many dudes here would say, “Takde bodek ah” ie; “No dick, ah”. Yeah yeah tell me she’s a girl and all… but you get what I mean.