Ever felt like things were kinda shitty... then one day you wake up and realise it aint so bad after all... coz you can actually live your life for more than 3 months without once having a serious thought about the person involved... coz your heart was rudely grabbed by her/his friend... then suddenly one day half everything just comes back to you? And you realize that some people really DO stay with you forever, whether you like it or not. Ever felt that way? Ever?
I have. I'm feeling that way this very instant.
The person involved sneaked his way back into my life when I was least expecting it. He jumped back in when I was woozy over his friend. With a "Can I see you?" and "Don't tell ****". blablablalalala.
For the first time, I didn't answer some lame shit like "Yes. I'm not invisible".
Cuz something told me, this was serious. And knowing the nature of this person, lets just say it must have taken a hell lot of guts.
But I said no.
"Why?" No. "Yeah but why exactly?" No. Just no. "Are you mad at me?" No. I'm not. "Seeing someone?" No. "Then?" I'm sorry *****; but no.
And he's blocked.
Ok fine. I know. I'm a coward. Go on. You can scream it all you want. NASHE IS A FUCKING COWARD!
Spread the news, guys! Nashe is a coward!
Lets be frank here. I'm scared. This person has left QUITE a footprint in my life by just being there and only those who knew about it then, are the only ones who will ever know about it, coz I don't wish to say more. My old pal Damien from Philippines summed it up so beautifully that day-- "Nothing happened between the two of you but somehow it just feels like everything happened, doesn't it?"
Yes, Damien. You're right, it does.
Back to topic, I am just scared. Of? Of what? I don't know! Now, in addition to being a coward, NASHE IS A DODO, TOO! But we all knew that don't we... Sigh. I said no, coz it was the wrong time. Totally.
Dude, I wish I could see you too, but your timing is/was all wrong. You're too late. You're just too late. Had you been earlier, I prolly wouldn't have taken a second look at your friend. And did I mention, (ok, bombshell alert) I've renamed your friend Wallace!
And guess who asked me out the next day? (or should i say, night?)
Your own BEST FRIEND! The one you call YOUR BROTHER! and i said yes...
And you can go "Oh Nashe is such @#$%*!!" all you want. It's kinda true. Haha.
10 comments:
hmm.. life is complicated. now i know why u seem kinda upset and confused. anyway, hahaha. u aint a coward la. hahaha. since he got responded to things so late, you cld just do the same. maybe three years down the road, you respond back la. hahahaha. FINE. not funny.
gOd, girl. Do i know the guy? I'm sho MOVEDDDD by your entry....here, i dedicate dis song to u, den u can dedicate it to him eh? (u were playin it da other nyt i col you, rmb?)
Taufik Batisah- One Last
Never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for awhile and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
Its better if we just let it go
Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
We both know
It's better if we just let it go.
yo yo who is hairuz?
ok. random qtn. haha.. but hairuz,whomever u r, that song ah..reallli man... ya nailed it.
Nazze, look at da last 2 lines of hairuz comment. i tink hes right. just leddit go already. youve been throu it lyyk i donnoe hw many times.it juz NEVER TURNS OUT RIHGT. (see line6!!!!!!!) don think too much abt ***** okie?
@ Amellya : Hey...long time never heard from ya. XD
Yes, i'm confused. But ah well... i don't plan on responding ever. Though 3 years down the road i'd still prolly be remembering him, I told you he's a locked past. So like, forget it.
I mean.. you snooze, you lose,right?
@ Hairuz : our ICY hairuZ moved? datz a first. wow. what impact i have.
Anyhoo, 'thanks' for the song, dude. Haha. It suits gilerbabi in a way i guess... never thought anak Batisah's song cld be so kablooey for me. hmm..do u think i should search for that different sky? sigh ok. nvm. dont answer.
ps; i thought u said your internet connection's down?
@ Adrian : hairuZ is a new pal, Ade.
And honestly + seriously, you didnt have to rub it in (ie; more like shoving it down my throat) that it NEVER TURNS OUT RIGHT; (and check ya spelling, munjen) because i swear to god that was a blinding flash of the obvious.
Anyway, i thought i let it go already? but of course... drama always finds its way to me, don't u remember?
Coward! Just kidding. You are talking to a person who definitely understands hesitation like that. Look before you leap, as I said on someone elses blog. That's my motto from now on, and really isn't a bad one to follow.
@ mike : Ok. I'll look before i leap... but some peepz say i look too hard. Haha. I look so hard sometimes that i get cold feet in the end and never leap at all.
Hey, Nashe. :-)
Man, is your life ever COMPLICATED!! Can't you ever do anything the easy way?!? I hope this works out for you, you sure have agonized over ????? forever, it seems. Good luck, and msg. me sometime. :-)
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