The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
Be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity...
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do.
And I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Dont cry, Dont cry.
The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps til I'm full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if you stay.
-----------------------------------------------------------
So my fairytale with the Indon buddy boyfriend has just ended. Like, 3 days ago.
My Shinoda, my Omarion, my Sean Paul, my Frankie J., my Gunawan, he left on Saturday.
We went to the beach on Friday night, was there all the way till 4am. Yeah, FOUR FRICKIN A.M.
Call me mad, I say whatever. With Rayan to drive you around, you never know the time.
Later that day, (Sat.) I went over to his place again and we made some weird breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs(or part thereof), a mountain of flowery-shaped pancakes and uh, some other inedible stuff. Then we headed to the airport together with his two Indon buddies, Rayan and Danny.
They stayed till around 6.10... My Gunawan's plane left minutes later. I can't believe I could even stand and watch as the stupid plane moved away from the damned tunnel thing. And when it took off?
Dear God, I felt your world tilting beneath me.
Everything became a blur. I just sat and sobbed my eyes out into the hood of my sweater. Then Ameliene came to accompany me like, a century later and I cried my brains out in front of her. God.
I was a certified basketcase.
We chilled around the airport and all... I kept seeing his face floating around the crowd but had enough sense to know that he was on the motherflying Lufthansa, on the way back to Jakarta.
That kept me from chasing random people around the airport like a lunatic.
Then I felt better though, when I remembered this lil piece of Starbucks serviette that my Gunawan wrote a message on, still tucked in my pocket. Something which he made me promise not to unfold til he's boarded the plane. Reading the message, it's the most beautiful sentimental thing I've ever received, honestly. More gorgeous than the Fergie "The Dutchess" CD that I got. And the former will be staying in my wallet till....
till I get another Gunawan maybe?
Who woulda thunk it, the Nashty is capable of falling in love.
22 comments:
Erwin is a very lucky guy.
yeah i never thought either theres any guy who can sweep this nashty off her feet.
oh babe i'm sorry i couldnt make it to the airport. work attachment's really hectic for me.
u stayed at the beach till 4? coolness!
eh, your friend Ameliene so baik to have accompanied you. =)
Is indon short for indonisian?
@ saffy : i think i was the luckier one actually.
@ dian : I know. Coolness. =)
@ dacroaker : Very baik, oui.
@ Butchieboy : indonEsian you mean? Yes... we just call it Indon, or Indo.
=)
Ah, Nashe, young love can be so painful, especially when you have to be apart. If it's meant to be, it'll work out for you and your guy. I've got a nice soft shoulder and a sympathetic ear if you need to talk. Anytime, Nashe. You can catch me on Yahoo or MSN if you want to IM, or email me.
This too shall pass.
Take care of yourself. ;-)
@ Diane : Thanks, D. :)
everything happens for a reason hun. like its not meant to be, thats what i always told myself. that notion alone numbs the pain, time achieves the same goal. just give it time.
sorry nash but the term "indon" annoys the fuck out of me LOL. phonetically, its pronounced as in-dawn and it sounds more retarded than that motherfucker bush's speeches. wont it make sense to say indo since its pronounced the same way as "indonesia" ? its a singapore thing i know but i cant help but cringe each time i hear someone say it. call me nit picky but this is one pet peeve im not lettin slide.
HEY NASH.
Gunawan loe itu sayang banget sama loe...sorry ya, i dint know what to say to you at the airport. You looked so broken,u nearly made me cry.
HEY SAFFY.
teman gw memang bertuah sekali.haha
HEY LASTLIFEINMYUNIVERSE.
kamu org cina indo ya? gw di sini indo jugak.
-waahh..haahaa...phonetically,when nash says 'indon' the "O" is the same as the O in Indonesia. Hahaa. Its better than in-dawn. my mother says In-Dawn back home, hehe.
and nash doesnt say 'indon'actualy. she goes all tha way to say 'indonesian'.
-R.D
Fairytale, it was....and i cant believe u call him your gunawan? haha. Gunawan handsome meh??
tc, nashe
gunawan is hotstuff lah what talking you khane.
aww nash. the whole thing was sweet lah. i can go bonkers for a lover like yours.
OMFG, R.D!! haha... thanks for the comment.. I thought you said you're too hot for the internet. heee? XD
@ fairuz : oh hey. Bonkers eyh? haha.
@ Lastlife : Ok I'll give it time, alright... and yes, i know about the whole Indon thing. And like what RD said, i don't verbally say it. It's just in online typed shit. Hehe. But i guess that can make you reel too huh?
I don't think its a singapore thing though. is it?
hmmm...
@ khane : my Gunawan. Oui oui. hahaha...
It is in fact, a very Singaporean thing. Like YOUR friends (you know which bunch I'm referring to) who keeps referring to them as that.. Thank god I am a Somalian and not Sgean. Oh and Nashe, I was really thirsty that night at the airport. =)
hey, you should have visited TB Joshua when he was here in Singapore. He'd teach you how to heal your broken heart with all his national healing campaign thingus. Hurhur. Cya.
Awwww!
Poor baby!
*big, snug, life-reaffirming hug*
I'm sorry you're feeling all heartachy
I feel like I should buy you something ;-/
MALLY. im sure tb joshua was able to help. god knows wad he was ranting about anyway. ok dropping by to say hi. *giggles*
mzh.
@ ameliene : Yeah i suppose even third-world Somalians like you are better than some singaporeans here. Thats sad, though. And ouh yea, say hi to those hawt bone-thin dudes when you go back to Somalia aiite? They need your Youth Advolution program.
@ mally : i wanted to go, but.... XD
@ Gadfly : awwh thanks gaddy... your hug made it better XD
ahakz...
@ mzh : shuddup la. You stole my slick guy oready in the MRT.. hahaha!!!!
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